Whiskey & Wisdom

Reflect the Life You Want with Tim Howard

August 24, 2022 Tyler Yaw Episode 29
Whiskey & Wisdom
Reflect the Life You Want with Tim Howard
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Show Notes Transcript

Tim Howard real estate agent, Men's Coach, Author, and Podcaster comes on our podcast this week! We discuss how the mind impacts how you perceive life, chasing after dreams and goals, and we dive deeper into what his podcast and newest book entails.

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What we're sippin' on this week: Water
As some of you may know, Chris and Tyler started 75 hard early August. And during these 75 days we have given up drinking and drinking a gallon of water a day in replacement. But don't worry we'll be back giving whiskey reviews in October!

How to Find Tim Howard

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How to find us:
Whiskey & Wisdom: @whiskey.and.wisdom
Chris Kellum: @ctkellum
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Welcome back everybody to the whiskey in wisdom podcast this week we have on Tim Howard, most of you all probably know him as a real estate agent around town Wilmington, North Carolina. and others might know you as the guy who runs the man school and a book that is soon to be out, along as another podcaster. man of many hats we have on today. Yes, indeed. But before we jump into too much right now Chris has been Googling this bottle of whiskey here. The jamesin is it the black barrel? Yes. So I know Jameson has some fun flavors. We had the orange yeah. A while ago. And I have there's the black coffee. Like they have a coffee version too. Mm-hmm yep. I have that as well. So we have, we've always said the fun flavors. Like they have an IPA now, too. Yeah. Oh, that's another really good one to be mix with ginger, if you ever wanted to try it. I'm gonna have to look into that. Yep. But Tim brought us a bottle of the black barrel. From Jameson, which is super cool because they actually do these and they mature them for a little bit and they take it out and put it back in. And they put it in a chard and then a double chard barrel mm-hmm so it's a bunch of different flavors. Mostly description wise is it has some spice and vanilla tones which is kind of cool, but this version of Jameson is. for shots and pickle backs. This is more of a sit back and sit. Yeah. Iteration of it, which I think is actually gonna be kind of. and unfortunately, Chris and I will be crying tonight because we are in the middle of 75 hard and we are not drinking. So we're going to be thinking about it every single night. Yes. Until the day we can have it. So I got something to look forward to. You can celebrate when you get the end of 75 hard dollars. Exactly. We will cheers with this one. We have another like what? 62 days. I, I am doing a whiskey watches and wisdom event in November. So, ah, just couldn't make a showcase there. There you go. I like that too. But yeah, unfortunately we can't cheer for the liquor, but we'll be drinking some water on that. Well, a couple reasons that we were talking before the show about why Jameson, so I'm three quarters Irish, and I'm getting ready to go to Ireland, but. I don't, I don't drink a lot of whiskey and I don't know a lot about it. But a buddy of mine who passed away this summer he and I went through ROTC together at guns. Ag university goes AGS. Yeah. And we were both Phil artillery officers, both army Rangers. And he passed, but the last shot of whiskey I had with him was a shot of Jameson at Jack and Dan Tavern, which John Stockton, if you guys know. John Stockton, all time, CIS leader and steel leader in MBA, he was mm-hmm Gonzaga, classmate of Terry and I's. But he now owned Jack and Dan's Tavern, his father and his uncle opened it years ago. So I thought, well, I remember early on in one of your early episodes, you talking about Jameson and ginger. So I brought some of. materials together for you to enjoy one if, but not knowing that you guys are doing it's okay. It's okay. We will have it later with you. Awesome. It's a more recent thing that we, we started doing, so yeah. Yeah. Heads up you guys, the next couple ones, we'll either be talking about whiskey or trying some fun non-alcoholic beverage. Yeah. Give you some, there's some options out there. So if you decide to do 75 hard to you have those options. Well, I admire you guys cuz you know, 75 hard is all about mindset. Yeah. And it's the self discipline like and if, and if you can do that and stick with that, and it's great that you've got like the accountability with one another to do that, which will probably get into some topics related to the man school. But. you know, keep going, go after it, man. That's yeah. That's huge. You make that and then celebrate that. That'll be a huge win for both of you. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I did it last year and it was a huge game changer when it comes to mindset. Yeah. And mental toughness and finding a lot of time throughout the day that you didn't know you had mm-hmm so it definitely helps you with that. Cuz you need to find time to read your book and get two workouts in and everything else. yeah, but enough about that. The first thing I want to touch on with you, cuz this is the least that I know about you so far. Tell us about the man school. So the man school is a coaching program. It's a coursework is called the great man's legacy of the man school. And I primarily have facilitated like mastermind groups through that process. There there's a few guys here in town that have been through it and then other people across the country. but it's about a six month process. It's about 22 lessons and it really gets into focusing on all aspects of what we call the arena of life. So there's kind of like eight different areas of the arena of life. You know, things like your, your, your health, like you guys are focused on 75 more right now. And you're Your self image, which is, has a lot to do with working on your mindset. Mm-hmm mm-hmm, your intimate relationships like with your, with your spouses? Yeah. Your family, your, the environment, both in terms of your work environment and the environment that you live in. So we, we focus on really discovering what are the desires of your heart? You. You know, I'm a person of face. So it's like, I believe that, you know, God has gifted me with certain gifts and talents and has placed desires on my heart. And it's like, so I help men to discover what are those things. Yeah. And then kind of unlock those dreams. So it's like, oftentimes we, we start out with big dreams in life and then life happens and we go in a different direction. Mm-hmm it's like, but those generally those dreams that we have are still inside of. It's like giving ourselves permission to dream again and to think really big. So it's like, you know, what are the dreams or the goals that you have that are really, really excite you, but at the same time scare you mm-hmm to step out in faith. You know, you guys started this podcast earlier this year, so you're stepping into something, you know, something that's unique to who you guys are. Mm-hmm you know, and same way I got started doing a podcast. I never anticipated doing that, but here. So the man school really helps guys to discover what are the desires of the heart? Get clear about what the dreams and the goals they have in life. Then to start to design that life. Okay. And then develop the discipline, which like 75 hard is a, is a great example. Developing the mental discipl. To accomplish really big things. And then you gotta detach from the outcome. It's like, so you gotta get into massive action about whatever it is you're pursuing in life. Mm-hmm whether it's business or personal or whatever. But once you get into action, it doesn't always go exactly the way you thought it was gonna go. Yeah, so you gotta adjust along the way and just keep working on making forward action. So it's, I, I really described around the terms, helping guys uncover what are the dreams that they have inside then develop the mindset and the skillsets to go accomplish those dreams and really to build a balanced life. So you might be really good at work and business and creating money, but your, your, your relationship at home with your wife may. Or you're not a good father to your kids. And that was, you know, me early on and after leaving the army and then going in industry as I was so focused on my career is like, that was like where a lot of my energy and mental energy and time and effort went into, I wanted to be successful in business and I wasn't as successful in other areas of my life. So it's like really helping guys to let's stay focused on what's really important here. Okay. Yeah, we're we wanna be successful in business, but we're doing it for reasons. Like we're doing it for our families. We're doing it to create wealth, not for wealth's sake, but for contribution to others. So that's some of the elements, what the man school's about. And I got involved with the man school because. my co-author of the mirror book project, which I'm sure we'll talk a little bit about mm-hmm Maria Spears, initially she was a strategist and mindset coach with a woman's school. So the woman's school was growing and taking off and they're realizing they needed to come up with a similar process for men. Cuz here are all these women that are elevating and they're making huge impacts and their, their families and their communities. Their, their husbands or their boyfriends or their sons are getting left behind. And they don't know how to deal with these women that are really, so she had introduced me to the CEO and founder of what was then the greatness journey. Now it's called the homeless school. Ryan Donovan and his wife, January Donovan developed the coursework for the woman's school and they were gonna launch the man school. So reintroduced me to Ryan Oman. I talked to him and I was the. Guide a sign up to become a strategist and mindset coach of the man school. So I was going through the process and learning all these things. And then at the same time, I started guiding other men through the great man's legacy coursework. So I was maybe a month or two ahead of these guys. Yeah. But already applying these principles into my life and then helping to guide other guys through this master work process of the man school. So it's been really it's been really impactful to my life. You know, just like doing something like 75 hard if you really truly dedicate yourself to something like the great man's legacy of the man school, and you do the work, like we, we generally do video courses and then there's like self work. And if you do that work and you're gonna start to transform from the inside out mm-hmm it's like, if you start to change how you're thinking yep. You start to show up differently. You know, if you start developing the, the discipline of the morning routines and the evening routines that are going to bring forth the life that you want to have, and you start to get more consistent with that, and more intentional with it, you start to change, you start to become a better husband. You start to become a better business person. You start to feel healthier, you know, so you start to show up differently and then you start to have a different kind of impact. And then the contribution that you're able to make to your family and your community is different. Yeah. And people start say, Chris, Tyler, you know, you know, you look great, you know, you, you've got in great shape, you know, what have you been doing? You know? And then you get the opportunity to talk about what have you been doing. And not only are you, you focused on it from the, the health and fitness standpoint, but you're focused on it. Well, this is what I'm learning. This is the kind of impact it's making to me and the kind of changes bringing in and my way of thinking. And that's how I, I now generally. Work with guys and get them going through this process where they're kind of going through a self-study process. Mm-hmm and then I set up a thing where I just check in with them every couple weeks. So then I provide a little bit of in individualized coaching in addition to what they're getting through the, the coursework. I see. Gotcha. And how do these men find the men's school? The best way would be to you could go. To the man school, but the best thing would be like go to my Facebook business page for the great man's legacy of the man school. Connect with me via LinkedIn or connect with me via Instagram at Tim Howard, the mirror mm-hmm and they could just send me a message and say, Hey, and that that's how some guys reach out. Now. It's like, You know, I have a former business colleague. I worked with the Illumina ministry years ago, a few weeks back, he reached out and said, Hey, Tim, I'm interested in getting some coaching from you. Okay. So you don't ever really know, like we're doing this podcast. You don't always know who you're impacting someone out there is listening. And that's like the goal for me, oftentimes with the podcast is like, let's with a guess is like, let's make an impact on at least one person's life today. Yeah. And if we can do that, then it kind of has a ripple effect. Right. Mm-hmm So you just never know who's listening and then they reach out. And then, then you can tell 'em a little bit about the opportunity and decide if it's something they want to wanna do or not. Yeah. When men are coming to you and asking to join, what's one of the biggest obstacles that you see that most men are having these days? Well, it generally, if people aren't ready to make a decision right now, it's usually one of three things. One it's. The objection may be financials. Like they don't think that they have the money to do. I've had guys come back to me and say, well, why didn't you let me do the premium version of this? So I'd have Unlimiteds. And well, if you remember a year ago, when you were having that conversation, it's like, you were really worried about making this investment, but once they make that investment, what, what they don't realize upfront is that they're really making an investment in themselves. Mm-hmm that is priceless. it's like, you, you can't, it's like the investment we make for the coaching process or the man school. You, you couldn't get a three hour course at a university for that amount price, but the value of that is, has a lifetime impact. You know, I've, I've got two master's degree, I've got an MBA and a second master's degree in kind of apply behavioral science. But the learnings I got through going through the man school was about a six month process far outweigh anything I've ever learned. Educationally through, you know, bachelor's degree in economics from Gonzaga and MBA, and master's have applied behavioral science, the life wisdom that I have now that I've learned and haveve gained and I've applied my own life far, outweighs all that. And there, there was a lot of money spent on those things. So it's like, that's one objection running. Another one is like, if you're you're married, it's. Gotta gotta talk to your spouse about that. And, and you absolutely want to talk to your spouse about something like that's like, if, if you're getting ready to do something, you're gonna invest a certain amount of time and energy into just like whether it's 75 hard or something else, like you better have their support and commitment, right. Because you're gonna start to not only have the impact of the time commitment you're making to it, but also you're gonna start to change. You're gonna start to show up in different ways. And you're gonna want that support from your spouse when you're starting to make, cuz you you're gonna be wanting to have different kinds of conversations. Mm-hmm it's like, you know, I I've been thinking about this and I really want to think about going after this dream or goal. Can we sit down and talk about that? Yeah. Okay. Cause if you, we gotta, you gotta go through life together. Right. And if you've got children and you've got a family it's really, really important to be aligned around. Where, what are you going after in your dreams? The other, the other thing is people say, well, you know, the time commitment, well, you you've discovered just like you mentioned earlier about 74, you have a lot more time on your hands and you realize if you're, if you're more disciplined about how you manage in your time. And that's one of the skills we really teach in the man schools, developing morning routines. Okay. How much time are you spending with your fitness? How much quiet time are you spending? What are you doing to work on your subconscious mind to start to change your mindset and thinking about the dreams that you want to get after? Because in order to accomplish those dreams, you gotta become a different person. Okay? Yep. Yeah. You can't get to where you're going, you know, remaining the way you are. So it's like, you've got to start to become the man that is able to accomplish these. right. And that's different than you were a few months ago. Certainly there was a it was called the mental toughness forum that I was watching a few weeks ago and it was pretty incredible cuz it was all free. So it was some of the best speakers in the United States right now. So ed, my lead Ben Newman, Andy frac, bunch of coaches for college athletes and business people, mm-hmm, all kind of. And they were talking about everything that you're just saying there it's about that mindset. You have to turn on and saying that it's not where you are now, but if you can change where that mindset is, it's where you can go. Mm-hmm and by cutting out the crap and replacing it with something that is worthwhile is mm-hmm is all the difference. Well, the key element we, we have this quiz that we send to guys that are considering doing this. And it gets at these different eight different areas of the arena of life. And it's like, these questions you ask yourself is like, where am I relative to this ideal kind of question? And it's just for you, you know, I don't ever see it people, but, you know, get, get a score. And then as you, like, you kind of see where, where are you at lower than maybe you'd wanna be. So for me, when I first started, I really started focusing on my self image and I started focusing on wealth, not for the sake of. For well sake, but it's like not only looking forward towards retirement, I just turned 60 in April. But how do I make a contribution and do the other things I get to do? I do overseas missions work, you know, I do. So I do stuff that I'm giving homes for heroes, realtor, I'm giving back 30% of my. income, you know, how many people do, you know, do that? Mm-hmm okay. So you've got to have a heart forgiving, but you've got to be able to go out there and earn a living and be prepared to do those sorts of things and have a mindset that what I'm doing is not for me, it's for others. And you know, for me, ultimately, based on my faith it's how do I serve the kingdom? How do I make an impact for glory of. But that's how I'm driven. Yeah. Yes. But mental tough, you know, ed, you mentioned ed, my Latin Andy, you guys are doing so far hard with Andy. They're actually partners in business in one aspect of the business, but you know, Ed's one of the podcasts that I listen to all the time and I love him. Yeah. And his book is great. If you haven't read it yet, one more. One more thinking I'm actually I just ordered it, so yeah, yeah. For the 75 for that's great. And my co-author Maria Spears. She's a big ed Mylet fan too. In fact, she first turned me on to him. I listen to ed and Louis House a lot love, I love the guests that they have. They both have really mm-hmm, excellent guests. I'm always taking in that, in that, you know, from a mindset standpoint, I'm always trying to stay open to. and taking in new information and, and we, if we get into the mirror book, we'll talk about, you know, the, the sea of the reflect across it. It's clarify you're in a circle. So your inner circle is not only who do you associate yourself with? Mm-hmm but it's, what are you letting into your mind? Like who are you listening to? Right. Okay. Who's making an impression or an impact on you. That's changing. You're thinking about how you approach life and how you approach the world. That's very, very, very important. Mm-hmm so if you wanna elevate to become a better version of yourself as a man who you hanging out with yeah. Are they helping you to elevate or you, they holding you back? You know, maybe you have a friendship that is important to you, but maybe to get to where you're going, you need to start to get a new mentor or you need to start to go cultivate a relationship with someone that's already been there. Mm. Okay. That you can kind of follow their example to get from where I'm at right now to where I wanna be. So I'm very intentional about cultivating relationships. That'll help me to elevate and get to a, a better place. I'm really glad you're bring that one up too, because for the people that don't know, I'm not gonna be on your podcast. Yeah. Yeah. And with that being said, that was one of the things that I did want to talk about cuz. She's one of the things, part of the acro stick. Yeah. And we can talk about that, but that's the one that I really want to discuss, cuz that's the one that's probably made the biggest impact on me. Mm-hmm one of the many that made a big impact on me. So that'll be a fun conversation. Well, you guys, what you're doing here with the whiskey and wisdom is kind of an example of living that out. Right? Okay. So you're, you're. You're connecting with people in the community that are people of influence or kind of energize you. Mm-hmm you know, you like their personality or whatever you like, you see what they're doing. And it's like, you know, what, what can I learn from that person? What, what is that person doing that I could share? And it could potentially make an impact. For someone else, but it's, it's upping your game. Yeah. Yep. Because you gotta get ready to have those conversations with those people that you're gonna be having as guests. And then you're also, you're, it's always amazing to me is, you know, even people I know sometimes I think like I know pretty well mm-hmm I don't know everything there is to know about them. Yeah. And then I hear more of their stories like, oh, wow. That is so cool. Let me connect you with this other person. Mm-hmm that, you know, I had a guest recently, in fact, her episodes dropping soon and her, one of her sons is like the number two guy at Tesla's like, whoa. Wow. You're like never, would've known that. Yeah, it is like he's he's in his late twenties and here he is, he's at one of the most influential. Businesses yeah. In the world right now. And it's like, that's crazy. Here's her mom I'm have as a guest. And she's very influential here in the community. She works at UNC Wilmington at the, the director of center of, in center of innovation and entrepreneurship, Heather MC. Okay. Yeah. So that was really, really cool. It was like, we, we got to meet one another, got to talk about different ideas. And then I got to learn a little bit more about her personally and her family and stuff like that. It's like, That's coming crazy. So it's like, here's, here's a woman of influence. That's making an impact on our community and beyond, but she's already made an impact on one of her children. That's having tremendous success. It's like, okay. There's there's proof. Right, right there. She's been a good mother. Yeah. She's instilled some great values into this young man. That's now doing amazing things and mm-hmm so that that's so. I was listening to an Andy ELA podcast just to bring it all back today I think it came outta your yesterday, today, and he was talking about anyone can have kids for the generally mm-hmm it. Everyone knows how to do that. Yeah, it was what he was saying is come back to me 20, 30, 40 years from that point. Yeah. And tell me how your kid grew up. Yeah. It's like, and then that's when we can really start having a conversation and so. very similar point it's you can tell about a child, what their parents have gone through and how well they've been able to bring, bring you up and everything. So I think that's just really interesting to take a step back as a new parent now to think about. Yeah, well, I dedicated for my portion of the book. Dedication is to my three sons. So I have three sons that are ages 31, 29, 28 years old. Okay. So. they will ultimately be my legacy. Yeah. It's like gets to that question, like, okay, what, what kind of guys have they become? You know, what kind of, what kind of a role model was I and, you know, there's some things I feel like I did well and there's other things I feel like I wish I would've done better. Mm-hmm but yeah, absolutely. They will be. And, and, you know, my dedication is, you know, keep chasing your dreams. It's like, so couple of 'em got some really big dreams that they, they. Fulfilled yet, but I just like wanna encourage 'em to keep going after it. They have the ability to go and achieve those things. They may not realize it yet. They may not have the self-confidence yet. Mm-hmm but I have the confidence in them if they want to go after it and, and get it that they can make it happen. That's great. Nice. So we've mentioned podcast multiple times. Mm-hmm and you have a podcast. Yeah. Cuz I'm, I'm just swinging that direction now. You're right. But what is your podcast about? So the podcast is called reflect the life you want, which is the theme of the mirror book, which is co-authored by Maria Spears. And the, the podcast is really about just having interesting conversations, much like you guys have with, with really interesting people. And it's like, what does this person, what have they experienced in life that they can share? You know, I, we can help get the word out about whatever their business is or their nonprofit or whatever they're doing in life, but it's real more, more about what have they learned in life that if shared could make an impact on somebody else's life. Right. And we were talking about like, you know, if we have, if we can impact one person's life, then the time we've invested together is, has been worthwhile. Yep. And it's really cool when I get the feedback from listeners of the show, that's like, oh, that was so cool. And it's just like, it just affirms. It's like, okay, we're doing something good. This made an impact. And I've shared it with all my sisters or friends or whatever, whatever it is, the, the feedback you get. Reflect a life you want is the theme of the book. The mirror and reflect is an acrostic. Yep. So the R stands for, to recognize the power to change. And like each one of us has the ability within us to make a change. Mm-hmm we're not victims of our past. Okay. Right. And that's one of the things a lot of people go through life thinking about, well, I'm this way because, well, actually every thought is optional. Mm. So I get to choose what I think about, you know, I can make a different choice. I can think about in the past differently, and I can start to move forward in a different direction. The first E the reflector cross stands for to each day to be grateful. So, you know, it's, I may not have achieved everything I wanna achieve yet. And I've got these really big dreams, but, you know, if I'm grateful for the things that I already have. And I really focus on being grateful for those things, the relationships I have, the experiences I have, the business that I have, then I'm, I'm like to, to have more of those good things come into my life. Mm-hmm so there's a Zig Zigler quote years ago that Maria and I kind of talk a little bit similarly, but it's like the more grateful I become and the more things come into my life to be grateful for mm-hmm Yeah, you may not have achieved or accomplished everything you want in life, but if, if you can stay focused on being grateful for, like, I got to go to the gym this morning, 5:00 AM got my ass kicked, you know, by the coach. And then I got to go watch the sun at the beach and it was glorious. It was gorgeous. It's like just living here, getting the opportunity to go do. That helps me get my mindset right. And ready for the go. So recognize power chain each day, be grateful. The F stands for, to feel now what you imagine it will be when, so Einstein said, you know, our imagination is the most powerful thing that we have reminds our ability to think about what could become and then go after that and then pulling the power of our emotions helps us to propel forward into whatever it is that we want. So our minds don't know the difference between what is here and now, and real versus what we imagine it will be doesn't know. So we can start to work on a subconscious level to feed it the information we wanna feed it to start to have that emotional response now. So if I can hold that, it's like, Yeah, I may not have it gotten to the end of 75 days now, but I know when I accomplish that goal, what that's gonna feel like, and I'm gonna feel really good about that, but it's not about accomplishing the goal. It's about who's the man I'm becoming along the way. Yeah. If I can feel good about having the self discipline and helping with the confidence to do that consistently over and over, if I can do that, I can do anything. Mm. trust me. And I got through ranger school. I got to recycle through the jungle phase. And so I got the spend some extra time down there, incredibly mentally challenging, but imagining whatever it is, the goal that you have and getting your emotional state behind that is really, really powerful. The L of the reflect across stands for, to love yourself and to let others know you love them. So it's this idea you, you cannot give from an empty cup. So just like taking care of our health and fitness, our, our body, you know, everything flows from that. It's like our mind, our emotional health, our spiritual health, our physical health all flows from our body. So we gotta take care of ourselves. Mm-hmm but we have to be intentional about thinking positively about ourselves. Like I used to use as a script for myself or an information I love and accept myself. I love and accept myself. Cause I didn't always feel. Mm-hmm I didn't always have a positive self image of myself. And there's still things that, you know, you struggle with from a self course standpoint, but as a, a gift, if I can show up in a way that I'm showing love and gratitude towards other people in my life, they're gonna pick up on that. Yep. Mm-hmm right. Just like in business or anything, you know, when a customer walks in the door at the jewelry store, Chris, that, you know, you can sense right away. What's, what's the vibe coming off. This person. but you've gotta show that love and care and concern for them no matter what, right. To be able to do that, you've gotta have that good, strong self image within yourself to be able to do that. So that's the L chapter, love yourself and let others know you look, the second is to energize your thoughts towards that, which you intend to be. So it's like if you've got a goal or you've got a mindset around an element of who you wanna become, you gotta be intentional about thinking about that. So for me, in the man school process. We have this, we could write out this standard, like each of the areas of life, we write out like three scripts or three affirmations around what is, what is it? Do I wanna become in order to be that? So it's like, okay, if I wanna be a stronger self images, like I'm confident, right? Mm-hmm I love myself. I'm able to, I'm respected. You know, those are kinds of thoughts that I have about. That are different than having the self-doubt of like, oh, I don't know if I'm good enough. Right? Mm-hmm it's like, I'm a man of action. I'm disciplined. I am confident, whatever those are, those kinds of things. And then setting it towards goals and dreams. It's like getting clear about myself. What is it that I'm gonna become? and then getting after that, and then the C as you alluded to Tyler, clarify your inner circle. It's it's both like who we associate with. Yeah. But just, we've talked a lot about podcast. It's like, what are we putting into our mind? Mm-hmm what are we putting into our bodies as food? You know, what are we listening to as music, you know, where are we spending our time? Are we spending a bunch of time watching negative news on television mm-hmm or are we reading something to change our mind and uplift our. So clarify inner circle is both about people. And it's also about what am I taking in to change my thinking about who I am, who I wanna become and how do I wanna show up in the world? And then the tease is thoughts are key. Think it created. So it's like, you know, whatever we think about is what we're gonna become. Right. You know, so the teach chapter kind of brings all these other concepts together, but it gets starts to get real clear about, okay, this is what I'm going. okay. How am I gonna become that? What I wanna become? What are the goals and plans? Who am I gonna get involved to help me? What are the different things that are important? Right? I mean, right now, so the reflective life you want is it's really a, a way of stepping into becoming who, the person that you wanna be, and then developing a roadmap to actually go do that. So like in 75 hard, you have. Things that you gotta do every day, right? Morning routines, evening routines. If you do those kinds of things much, like we teach in the man school, develop those kind of morning routines, evening routines, and you apply those principles further beyond 75 days. Mm-hmm think about what is it that you wanna become? Who's the man I wanna be. Yeah. What kind of business do I want to have? What kind of really big dreams and start to apply those principles of the reflect a life you want to your life every day. Taking 75 hard and extrapolating that out to what are my five year goals, 10 year goals. Mm-hmm okay. What do I need to do to become the man that's gonna accomplish those goals, right. And have that discipline and have the mindset to become an ed, my lead and Andy frac, you know, whatever it is that you wanna be and have that kind of impact and influence. those are the kinds of things that think about. Yeah. You touched on something that was big during the mental toughness forum and the way that they worded it was standards over feelings. Yes. So when you talk about those those routines mm-hmm is, this is my standard. This is what we do every day. Mm-hmm not I woke up this morning. I feel a little bit tired because my nighttime routine was a little bit longer than the day prior. It's the standard over the feelings, you always hit your standard. And the other thing that I'm sure you talk about too, is you can hit a goal then after you hit that goal, then what, that's the exact feeling I had after I, I finished Rangers goal. Yeah. And, and I talk about the book. It was about a four and a half year journey to do that, to accomplish that one goal. Mm-hmm it's like you pin the tab on. Which is a huge accomplishment. I mean, there's like less than 1% of the army even attempts it, not only about 50% make it. It's interesting. I listened to David Goggins, you know? Yep. Mm-hmm he went through buds three times to become a Navy seal. It was air force. He, he talked about in his book. You can't hurt me that it was tougher for him to get through ranger school than Navy seals. And I was kind of shocked by. It's like, wow. I always imagine that, you know, getting through buds would be tougher just based on what I'd saw and observed. Right? Yeah. But what I didn't realize is that when he was in buds, he got to go home at night. oh. He says, when, when you're in ranger school, he's like you're in the suck continuously. It doesn't end until it's just like, you've been deployed Chris. Yes. It's like, you're in that suck. You're in that environment. You're in that stress until you get home. Mm-hmm you know, it's, it's hard to detach from that. And so. Yeah. So I can't remember the original question you talked about, but having that mental toughness I, I think accomplishing a really big goal sometimes can be a let down. So we, we talk about it in the man school. We talk about in terms of summit goals. It's like, so if I'm to achieve this really big thing I have out here, I might have a six month. Yep. Right. What's it take, gonna take me to get to there. Then I might have a, a year goal. Then I might have a two year goal, three year goal, five year goal. And the, the, the end game may be this really, really big goal. So. We try to have summit goals to you accomplish things, because as you accomplish goals, you, you gain self-confidence. And I was listening to a podcast a lady who does a lot of coaching with other women, talked about this idea of a how mindset versus a have done mindset. so the how mindset, you know, the emotional state that might come with this is, I'm not sure how to do this, cuz I've never done it before as opposed to a have done mindset. So like with Maria Spears and I, and my co-author launching a book, neither one of us have ever launched a book, but we've done other things. Yeah. We've developed materials for coaching. Spoke things. We've done email campaigns, we've done podcast. So there's elements of things toward the book launch that we already know how to do. Mm-hmm so it's like, okay, let's build on what we already know how to do. And then the things that we don't know how to do, let's go learn from someone who's done it really well. Like someone like Chandler bolt, who, you know runs the cell publishing. School's got a book called published. So that's kind of like the roadmap. How to launch a book. Okay. Mm-hmm and you can pay someone to coach you on how to do that. Or you can just go learn and, and watch somebody else that's done it really well and apply what they've done. Well, so accomplishing goals. Yeah. You, the discipline of, okay. I've accomplished this one thing then onto the next thing, as opposed to I've I accomplish this and then following back to my old ways. Yeah. Which is easy to do. Mm-hmm that's why I'm doing 75 hard again. So I did 75 hard the first time and did fantastic. And I kept it up for quite a while. Yeah. And I kind of I looked at myself in the mirror, right. And a couple months ago, and I was like, what in the heck happened to that guy? That I was just not even a year ago after 75 hard. Yeah. Let's jump back into this again. And knowing that I've been able to complete it before mm-hmm it almost hurts worse to look back and say, what did I get myself back into? Yeah, well, I, if you haven't all read or listened to the audio book for atomic habits by James clear, great. Cause he talks a lot about mindset, but really around building the habits that we need to have for success. And a lot of the psychology behind that. And and know guys like ed Myla, you talked about Andy for she, tho those kinds of, they apply those kind of principles, their lives every day. Right. And it's like, okay, for, for the rest of us, it. How do we do this and do it well consistently another great book. The 5:00 AM club at Robin Shar. he also wrote more recently the everyday hero manifesto, two great books. If you, you know, these ideas resonate with you and you wanna learn more or wait, wait for my book to come out the mirror. But some stuff that's readily available and those are kinds of things that I share with other people. I get a really good book that I've read, or I listen to a really good podcast. It's like, I wanna share that with other people in my life. Yeah. That I know. Are aspiring to do bigger and better things. It's like, I want 'em to know what I know now or what I've been exposed to. Cause I want have, see, you guys have success in everything that your dreams and goals are that you have in life. So I was like here. Yeah. That's awesome. Go for it. What made you wanna jump into creating and of being an author of a book? Well, the book idea first came about in 2006. Okay. So I had. I had led the turnaround of a local business that had been failing for about four years. I initially came into it as the human resources manager within about six months with the general manager. And it was owned by a parent company out of the area. And they'd been losing money for about four years in a row. Okay. And we're going through all this change. And I was applying a lot of these ideas. I'd been through this second master's program, kind of centered around applied behavioral science. When I worked in the aluminum industry and a, a lot, the first year was a lot around emotional intelligence and really understanding yourself. That's why I first got exposed to the, the communication model called the interpersonal gap, which I've now adapted and added the mirror to mm-hmm. but the second year was really around. How do you lead change in organizations? If, if you know, and understand yourself better and you have strong emotional intelligence, then you can have better understanding of how you're impacting other people. What kind of influence are you having? So all those learnings I had to that point in my life when I was in that situation. Very very, very challenging business situation. It was like, and I, I had this franchise business that I was owning at the same time and I'm investing all my energy into leading this turnaround. And it was like, what am I learning from this that I could benefit? And what could other people benefit from it down the road? At the same time, I was going through a very challenging period in my marriage at the time. So there was a lot, a lot of personal learning, a lot of personal growth at the same time, there was a. Challenging business situations. Like what do I wanna learn from this? What, what could other people benefit from? So it was interesting. These concepts back then 14 years ago, or more than that now, 16 years ago. Yep. Now they're all being affirmed for me cuz it's like all these other people are talking about similar ideas. So like when I started coaching with the man school, it's like I started get exposing some of their materials and Maria, my co-author, she was already coaching the women's school and getting be exposes. It started, it resonated with her right away. Yeah. So then we're, we're coaching other people, these sets of ideas. And it's like, I started going to the man school coursework and started coaching. It's like, man, the ideas I had for the book so much resonate with these concepts that were teaching. So it was stuff, things that like were already within me, innately that learned in life and ideas that I had that had helped me to be successful is like they were being affirmed by these other, you know, great thought most of. These ideas. It's not original thinking. Mm-hmm but it's applying, it's applying the ideas and actually going and doing it. Exactly. Yes. And that's where the difference is between the average person and the person that's really at the top of their game. Mm-hmm it's the discipline. It's like the discipline of the consistent daily habits. The other thing too, that I've noticed is it's, it doesn't have to be hard. It's it's usually the simple things is what you overlook the easiest mm-hmm so one with the 75 hard is the picture. The picture is the easiest thing, but it's one of the easiest things to overlook. Yeah. I started doing the live hard program and that's how I failed the live hard program. Cause I forgot to take the progress picture. Yeah. And beyond that too, the things that I always thought. In hindsight, it's not as silly, but thinking about it at the time is like the manifestation type of process. And just thinking about like, oh, where do I want to be? I thought was silly. I am statements. I thought were silly. And I started looking at these successful people. And the one thing that they would say over and over and over again is they manifested every day. They would say that your, their, I am statements every day. Mm-hmm, out loud in a mirror looking at themselves and actually. And I was like, well, evidently I was the silly one. because all of these people that I look up to all did these exact same, what I thought were small things, but come to find out were bigger. I first started learning about the power of affirmations from Louise hay. She wrote the book, you can heal your life. And I actually met Louise out in San Diego. It's probably been shoot. It's been over 10 years ago, I had a book writing conference out in San Diego and she was still living. So that's where I first learned about that set of ideas. And then in the man school and the woman's school, we talk more in terms of scripts. It's like, so, okay here, here's a way of thinking about I am, that may be different than the way you've ever thought about it before. And I shared this with people and Maria and I struggled. We, we thought about, should we, we write about this or not? We just thought way out it's a little bit on the edge. That might be a little too controversial, but. I am, I believe are the two most powerful words in the English language. And here's a re what one is it's because it's, what am I claiming about myself? Right? What is the thought that I'm having about myself? Mm-hmm you know, and it can either be to the positive, or it can be the negative. but what if, what if so that the words I am are Yahweh. Right? Right. So what if, if in using those two words that we're claiming about ourselves, that we're really stepping into, who we were called to become mm-hmm like, what are the unique giftings and talents and colleagues that God has placed on your life? Right. What if you actually, when you're saying that you're calling in the power of the holy spirit, it's like, I am this thing that I'm intended to be, I was created to be this. What if I truly stepped into that and I truly believe that. And I claim that for myself and I, you know, whether in prayer or whatever your belief system is, what if I really stepped into that and believe that about myself, I am this thing. I may, it, you know, they, they say in the, in habit formation, it takes anywhere from 21 to 66 days, whatever, just to begin a habit. So like 75 hard it's like, it's going beyond that. Right? Yep. But if you do truly develop those habit, Of doing those daily activities over day it'll, it'll start to become who you are. It won't be it. Cause you start to break down that friction. It's like, okay, I can do this. I can get up and do my morning workout and do my do my evening work. I've got time. I can read 10 pages every day. Mm-hmm I've got time to do that. It just becomes who I am. So I am, you know, like for me in coaching and as a business leader, it. and as a podcaster, it's like one, one of these big ideas is like, just to think that I'm a thought leader. Yeah. People are tuning in to hear what I've got to say. Mm-hmm So if you truly believe that I'm a thought leader, then. How's that showing up, you know, in business is like, are, are people willing to pay you for your coaching? Are people willing to tune in and are people willing to advertise with you on your, for your podcast? If you're trying to monetize that, it's like you have got to be an influencer. So you've got to believe that about yourself. I'm a thought leader. I'm taking the time to sit down the three of us to talk about a set of ideas. And we're gonna talk some more about some other ideas. It's like, we've got to believe that there's something about this conversation we're having that's worthwhile. Definitely. Yep. That hopefully is gonna impact somebody else's life that happens to listen and tune into the whiskey and wisdom podcast. Mm-hmm so I believe that's true. Yeah, my hunch is you guys probably believe there's some truth to that too, or you wouldn't be investing was time every week. You're certainly what that's, that's exactly why we're here. Yeah. And something I need to do better of cuz I have the Instagram is telling Chris all of the great stories I, I see from time to time and I actually received once a day. Talking about how there was a quote in one of our past podcasts with Raylen and it really resonated with them. Mm-hmm and she shared it with one of her friends that really needed to hear it that day. So it was one person that was able to hear it from the podcast and then share it. It was someone else that really needed that, like inspiration to move to the next level for them. And those are the type of stories. That I never would've imagined come from something like this. Can I, can I share a little story kind of relate to that? So two things, one is the, the last episode of my podcast called rewrite your story. It's about a, a, a song I've got a Nashville recording artist. Who's a singer songwriter. And this other lady, who's a friend of mine that started this organization called freedom after the trauma. Beautiful, beautiful song to listen in to that. But one of the guys that went through the man's school process, was my brother-in-law or former brother-in-law and another guy locally. And this guy locally had a gift that he didn't realize. And he had, he didn't have a strong self-image strong belief about himself, but one of the things that he had real good gift about was like, say he noticed something, Chris, that you do really, really well. He might write you a personal note, just say, Thinking about, you love what you do, da, da, da, and maybe a little scripture verse or something like that. So he, with the guys that were going through this mastermind group with me, he started sending these to everybody. He got like everybody's address and he started sending these notes out. So my former brother-in-law lives down in the new Orleans area as a dentist. He takes these notes that are kind of like affirmations or scripts for him because it's like, these are things that this guy's calling out about him that. That he admires in him. He takes these three by five cards. He puts it up on his mirror and I've got a lot of stuff on my bathroom mirror that I look at every day, you know, to, to work on my mindset. And so my niece walks in and sees these things and starts asking her dad about this. Yeah. And then her dad started telling the story about this guy that going through the mastermind course with us and talking about her uncle Tim, and, you know, so it. You don't know sometimes how powerful of an impact you can have on somebody else and the ripple effect it can have mm-hmm so the more intentional you are about sharing the gifts and the talents that you have and the ideas that are inspiring to you, that might impact somebody else. You just never know what could happen. So it's. Keep doing the good stuff that you guys are doing with, you know, getting in great guests with the whiskey and wisdom, talking about great ideas, because you're gonna make an impact. Just like the feedback you got from that one. Yeah. Person. I got a lot of great feedback on that last episode to rewrite your story, cuz it's like, this is big stuff. This is transformation in people's lives. Mm-hmm and you know, you sh you share these ideas and then it, somebody picks up on it. Like it can change their life. Certainly. So keep doing what you're doing. Yeah. Thanks. Appreciate it. And it's funny cuz we talked about this. Well, I mentioned it a while back. But cuz everyone has different energy, different vibes, but like if you are doing the affirmations, you're adjusting what I say. Like your energy level. Mm-hmm to be where it needs to be. So you can receive these gifts because some people, if you don't see into the future like if you don't plan goals, As you have, like in your reflect motto is like, see yourself. Mm-hmm like where you want to be. So if you don't have those thoughts and those affirmations, you're not gonna raise yourself to that person that you need to be, to take in and really be ready for those things that happen. Cuz I remember at one point in time, I was like, you know, I, I was just, I was like, you know, I just want more money in my life. And so I was mentally like pushing myself. So, you know, I'll have more. But I didn't actually expect it to happen. Mm-hmm and if you don't expect it to happen, when it does hit you, you're like, oh, well I'm not prepared. So I don't know what to do. Mm-hmm so, yeah, it's more money, but if you more money comes your way, then you're spending it the same way you were before you just have to mentally, like you said, mm-hmm, put yourself on. And prepare yourself for the next level. I've got couple things. I keep on voice memo on my phone. I used to write out I've got a life script that I would write out every day as part of my ment lately, I've been more just listening. I have it recorded as a voice memo and I listen to it and it's a set of ideas around big dreams and goals that I have for my life. And then I have another one around coaching and, and being a strategist, a mindset coaching. What do I believe about myself in order to be effective at that? with, there's a big difference in the two words I will mm-hmm versus I am, and it's a huge shift. It's subtle, but it's huge shift in mindset. And it's like, if, if, if it's, I will, it's something in the future. Mm-hmm that may or may not happen. Versus if I say I am, I already claim it, it's already gonna be that way. I'm gonna become this thing. And it's through that repeated. affirmation, scripting or writing, writing it out is really powerful or recording it. And, and listening back to in your own voice and hearing yourself say this over and over again is very, very powerful working on the subconscious, but you then will start to be, believe that it'll start to shift over time. And even though there may be self doubt at first, it's like, And then it's like, as I'm stepping into this and I'm becoming this thing, it's like, yeah, I need to get ready for greater abundance in my life. It's like, I need to learn how to manage money more effectively. Cuz now I've got all this money flowing because I'm getting better at the business I do. And creating wealth because the more value you create for other peoples than you're gonna be giving more opportunities. Right? So if, if you're, if you're good with what you're entrusted with, you're gonna be entrusted with more. So you gotta learn to become a good steward. So you gotta learn how to manage your family. You. Get your financial advisor. yeah. Tyler there to help you to manage those things and set up for that success that you're gonna have. But big difference in those two words I am versus I will. So if you believe it, you claim it. You, for me, it's like, I, I pray as if it's already occurred and I just step into it. I. Well, we are starting to roll up on our time today. That went by super fast. for sure. But I do have my last question for you. Yeah. So if you could tell your younger self one thing, what would it be? Hmm. Believe, believe in yourself and, and believe in the dreams that you have and believe whatever those things that come to your mind. You you're dreaming about those were implanted in you for a reason. Mm-hmm so believe that it's possible. And step into that belief. I am. Right. And and go do it. Cause it's, it's within you. If, if you can think of it, it's within you to achieve it. So believe that it's possible and go do it. Yeah. Where did that wisdom come from? Just, I think life experience is like. I didn't always have the strongest self-confident self image and, and I'm still always working on it every day, but it's like, I'm doing so many things that are different now that I did a couple years ago, I wouldn't have imagined doing. Yeah. It's like, oh, and it's it's stuff that energizes me. So it's like, oh, this, this is cool. This is what, this is what I enjoy. Let me figure out a way to go do more of this. Meanwhile, I gotta. Doing this primary hustle over here, but let me figure out how to go do more. Some of this other stuff that I really enjoy, that really seems to have an impact on other people. Yeah, that's great. Go reflect the life you want, man. So you gotta become who you intend to become. And then the more you're that then the greater impact and influence you're gonna have on. Yeah, love it. Thank you so much. Where, where can everyone find you and on the Innerwebs and tell us a little bit when that book is gonna drop and every everything else, all the plugs that, that you have for yourself? Yeah. So the mirror book the goal was to have it launched no later than November of this year, which looks like I got the proofs today. So it looks like we're gonna be having a website that'll. the mirror book.com and then there'll also be a website called reflect to life. You want.com. So the websites are being designed right now. The book is the first draft of the layout and the cover design we've received today. So be looking for that later in this year I, you do a lot of networking on LinkedIn. So you can find me on LinkedIn profile. You can find me on Facebook personally, as Tim Howard, you can find me for my coaching business as the man's school. Great man's legacy. My Instagram handle is Tim Howard, the mirror, and then my podcast drops every Friday morning, reflect to life you want, so you can find it on iTunes, Spotify, wherever you listen to podcasts, go check it out. Have. Great gas, both locally and around the country. Yeah. And always looking for great people to have interesting conversations that can make a difference in everybody's lives. Cool. Thank you. Reverse rain fart. I'm not editing that out. well, thank you for inviting me in to have me on your show. I've I've been listening and following and. You know, you've had a number of guests that are people that I know and friends of mine as well. Yeah. It's like, it's like, cool. It's, you know, I, I just wish you guys great success in what you're doing and keep chasing your dreams. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. I appreciate it. Can't wait to come on your podcast as well. And I've been listening to yours too. So I'm excited to come on. Okay. I. I look forward to it. Yeah. To his podcast. well, I look forward to you guys accomplishing your goal and then being able to celebrate and crack open that lovely bottle of Irish whiskey. This looks delicious. I know. So I just wanna say thank you everybody for listening. And putting up with us just being silly. But thank you, Tim, for bringing this bottle, James and black. I suggest all of y'all go try it out and tell us how it is, let us know And we'll give you our review at the whiskey and wisdom watches event in November. But yeah, if you wanna save anything, it should be our podcast. download us on Spotify and apple. is it pod, apple podcast, apple podcast, Spotify, Stitcher, all of that fun stuff. Yeah. That's so awesome. I that's how I do every morning. I'm like, oh, it's here. Download it. And then I just play it. When I walk through my neighborhood that has zero cell phone service. Yep. Make sure you hit the follow button. All the stars reviews do the same thing for Tim's podcast, please. It helps us. Absolutely. Thank you. All right. That's it for today. Thank you so much again, Tim. And we will cheer the water bottles today. all right. Thank you guys. Yes, thank you. Cheers. Thank you.